i dont even know how to be here
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
