If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
