she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
