Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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