Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
