eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
