problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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