Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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