Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you would pick up someone in the library
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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