Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
