We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
