Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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