Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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