love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There's always time for handjobs
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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