College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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