How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
