I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
