im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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