you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
