wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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