My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
