did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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