JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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