there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
