I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
