wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
