your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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