Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
