Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
