U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My feet surprised me
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