I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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