I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
