On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
