i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
