The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
