If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
