he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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