I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I can text with my tongue
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
