Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
