you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
