I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
