Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
