Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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