Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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