Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
