he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
this beer tastes like vomit already
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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