1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
