I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
