Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
