i think i have herpe
just one?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
