But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Success! We fucked roommates!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
