U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
