I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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