If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
