So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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