Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
